I would like to start writing about the memories I've collected for the 26 years of my existence here in this world. I am afraid that someday I will forget it and nobody will tell me about it. It is more for me than for anybody. It is not for sharing nor for any of my loved ones. It is meant for me. I wanna return to that day where Lola Nitz would cook the best sinigang I've ever tasted, or how Mama Ro taught me how to write my full name, how I enjoyed going to the office of Papa Ruso, or why was I hiding under my Mom's table during her class? Those moments..that makes me happy now..that's all i have of my family. I am far away from them, some are in the province and out of the country.

i must say, all the strength that i have now are just coming from mere memories, phone conversations with them and photographs. I wish I could be with Mom as she gets older, I wish i could see Raz grow up and play with him..

I've never thought of death as much as i am doing right now. i am afraid of it...but damn i am so curious about it. what is it like in heaven? will i see Mama, Papa, Lolo, Lola or Papi?

xoxo, s.♥