I would never want to feel that ache deep within where it would be so hard for me to breathe. I will never want to delete your number, change mine, change everything on all of my social media accounts, even my email.. I don't like that hallow feeling inside where in you know someone very important to you, someone you love other than yourself is gone, left you behind...It is something I am afraid to feel ever again. And they say you can only say that you are ready to love when you are ready to get hurt again. which i still cannot understand until now. why would you want yourself to be ready on the things, situations and people that will surely, fucking hurt you the most? why?
don't get me wrong, I am not hurt now...and i hope i will never be again..because i have been there. it was dark, cold, sad...and all the things that made you secure, your whole being was just cut, burned and broken into ten million pieces...i am not there. and i will never, ever want to be there...i will run away from that place...
yes, people move on and they will eventually move forward, begin a life, try something new, meet other people but it will not take a second, a week, a month.. or maybe years for someone to heal for real. it will really take, just one perfect person to make you forget all the hurt that you felt...and you are told that you are ready to fall in love, to love again if you are ready to be hurt? fuck that logic. maybe someday i will understand that..for now I have to run away from that place.
xoxo,
s.♥
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